You cannot people please with a child with autism. Trust me I have tried. I have spent way too much time trying. Way too much time disappointing myself. As a special needs mom, however hard it may be, you must learn the skill of saying “no.” It won’t be easy, but it is necessary to learn this lesson.
You are Your Child’s Advocate and Voice.
No– that doesn’t work for us.
No– that doesn’t help my son best.
No– that is not the way he will do it.
No– we cannot come to that.
No– that school model isn’t right for my child.
No– that kid cannot treat my kid that way.
No– that adult cannot treat my kid that way.
No– we won’t stay the full time of the event.
No– he won’t say hello.
No– he won’t look you in the eyes.
No– he won’t sit down in a chair for that long.
No– he cannot stay still for that long.
No– he does not learn that way.
What saying “no” does NOT mean:
We don’t love you.
We don’t like you.
We don’t want to be around you.
We are judging you.
We think we are better than you.
What saying “no” DOES mean:
I recognize my child’s unique ability.
I recognize my child’s unique struggle.
I recognize the environment is overly and intensely stressful and possibly traumatic and harmful for my child, and I am going to do something about it.
My child is a priority to me.
Who my child is matters to me.
The bottom line is this:
I love him when its hard.
I love him when its easy.
I love him unconditionally.
God has called me to do that.
And, I am better because of loving him.